Its 10:01 am. I'm "supposed" to be at school now studying the makeup practices of the 1920's and 30's...I am on my couch with a brown fleece blanket on my head.
My girlfriend and queen of my imaginary kingdom has been trying to coax me into taking up a blog. This is my very first blog entry...(what the hell is a "blog"? it sounds like some kind of fat green space alien, probably related to jaba the hut.)
Eileen, (girlfriend/queen) and I have been having a rough time communicating lately, being totally honest can be really hard. I guess thats why we lie. Sometimes to our partners and friends but more often, to ourselves. I lie a lot. Not to be mean or vindictive, mostly because I'm scared. I'm afraid of looking foolish, scared of not actually being who I think I "should" be, sometimes I trick myself into believing if I lie to myself long enough, maybe it will come true. Lying sucks... I'm going to use this blog to help free me from these shadowy shackles.
This blog (fat green alien) is about my truth. This will be my digital sanctuary of inner peace and outer honesty. I will reveal my internal workings here on this page as an experiment. Hopefully, by engaging in candid monologue, I will find harmony and finally be able to accept myself for who I am. In turn, being able to make real friends.
TRUTH # 1
I'm lonely. I never really had to many friends in my life. I get along with people well, but because Im afraid to like myself for who I really am, I don't let people in.
TRUTH # 2
I have Tourettes Syndrome. (I've been embarrassed to share this openly because it makes me feel weird. As I get older, I realize everyones a little odd, so maybe it'll make me more relatable if people know I cant help but twitch my face when i get nervous. its actually kind of funny now that i think about it. Maybe I look like a bunny, bunnies are cute...
TRUTH # 3
I lied to my school today. I said I have an appointment and will be running late. I don't, ask the brown fleece on my head... They have a strict attendance policy and I didn't think that needing to express myself emotionally on a blog was excusable by school guidelines. so I lied, am I proud of it? I don't really give a shit. but it feels good to be honest about it here.
TRUTH # 4
Im insecure about writing because I have no formal training whatsoever, outside of a night school class I took. I was the youngest student there, the second youngest was 63, the oldest was almost 90. I hated that class. Eileen joined me for the last few weeks I attended, and the slightly sleazy yet kind of charming old man teacher constantly ogled my girlfriend, hinting that we (focused at her), should take his tango lessons. I wanted to poke his eyes.
